you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
