"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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