I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
