We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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