We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
