summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
