She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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