I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
