Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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