I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
