No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
