My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize