I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
