White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
