that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
