His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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