apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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