ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize