If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
