I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
