I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
