its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
