I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
