Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
