i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
