I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I look better un-naked...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
