doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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