Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
