Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
