Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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