i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
