we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
