Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
