I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
