awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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