Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
