Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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