True but thats because hes a fetus.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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