Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
