The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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