The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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