How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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