; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
