Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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