i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
