Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
