so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
