oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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