Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
