At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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