I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
