I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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