I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
