I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
