I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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